Putting Yourself First

June 2, 2019 | Written by Monica Bey

What do you do for yourself? 

When was the last time you answered that question? 

Too often, we  jump to fulfill the needs of others be they family, friends, bosses, etc.,  but don’t make the same effort to cater to our own lives. The act of putting our desires first is usually overlooked and can seem foreign to most people. But doing so is critical to having a healthy self-care regimen. We know we should do it, but we struggle to actually make it happen. 

 Why is this? 

It’s possible some may be fearful that they’ll lose the love and connection with those they do the most for if they stop to take care of self first. Others could be worried about losing their “caregiving” status while different people may simply feel it is their responsibility to tend to those close to them and may consider putting their needs first as a luxury. This can cause a feeling of guilt to set in. Too many people have the perspective of self-care being negatively associated with self-interest and indulgence. That’s not the case and having that skewed  perception can trigger our ego into relaying an inner message of selfishness. This can keep us in a cycle of guilt and neglect that have long-term psychological and physiological effects on our overall wellness. It can also lead to a decrease in self-confidence, depression and even cause physical health problems. 

If we look at putting ourselves first as a non-negotiable part of our weekly routine, that feeling of guilt will subside. Putting yourself first means honoring your mind, body and soul in conjunction with your needs and desires. It means giving your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs precedence over anything else. This is important because if you’re not well, that hinders your ability to care for and help others. So even if you must be a caretaker of some sort, putting yourself first is still a must.

Some helpful examples to jump start incorporating self-care into your life include: 

  • Create a morning routine that includes meditation or prayer and something self healing before you get your day started.
  • Start saving money for a vacation you’ve always wanted to take. . 
  • Schedule a class or workshop you’ve been putting off attending.
  • Spend a few hours to practicing your favorite hobby. 
  • Schedule a monthly massage appointment.
  • Find a way to stay active. An active body is a happy body! Swimming,  dancing, outdoor activities, walking, etc., are all fun ways to stay active,  besides being in a gym. 

Stop putting yourself on hold and do something nice for yourself today. You deserve it!