The Power of No

July 9, 2019 | Written by Monica Bey

Have you ever been asked to do something for someone, and out of the kindness of your heart, agreed even though it caused you stress, inconvenience or discomfort to follow-through? Sometimes making decisions like this can get in the way of you getting things done for yourself and saying no can feel like an act of selfishness. It isn’t selfish, however, to politely decline. Saying no evokes an internal power of knowing your capacity and assessing your capabilities at any given point in time. It intentionally sets limits and protects you from becoming trapped in activities that don’t align with your current priorities, beliefs, or emotional standing. Saying “no” is taking your power back. 

The truth is that we all have goals for ourselves, whether they be personal or professional, and anything that causes us to stray away from those goals can eventually become roadblocks to our future. If we allow ourselves to become trapped in the comfort zones of others, we open the door for becoming overwhelmed, which can eventually transform into negative energy that causes resentment for those closest to us. Saying no is a power that requires practice to become recognized as an actual choice for ourselves. It is a way to regain control of our needs, wants and desires while protecting our space from those unintentionally trying to interfere. 

But how do we begin to practice our power? 

It’s easy to say that we need to become stronger in how available we make ourselves but much harder to actually do when confronted with the choice. It’s important to understand that when presented with the opportunity to choose between self-capacity and the reliance of others on you, a clear decision needs to be made. It is important to live and actively stand in your truth, no matter how uncomfortable it may make others feel. It is also equally important to exercise your right to say no to maintain your inner strength and confidence in staying focused on your goals. One good practice for exercising your power is to take a moment to check in with yourself mentally, physically and emotionally when presented with a question of your capacity. If you have to think about it for more than a few seconds, chances are, you are probably not in an ideal position to take on that extra task or activity. 

Saying no creates boundaries that promote your growth while also reinforcing your values for not just you, but for those around you. You may find it challenging to assert your needs above others, but understand that those choices are vital in every aspect of your life and will always have an impact. Remember that there’s freedom in the Power of No and sometimes saying no to others, is saying yes to ourselves. Just say no!